Searching for a Mistress for a submissive man is both a complex multi-step process and very exciting and thrilling. If you strictly follow these steps — success is assured and you will be able to realize all your thematic fantasies and needs for a long time, expand practices, and have strong thematic relationships that bring joy and satisfaction to both parties.
You are a man feeling the need to find a woman with the knack and ability to influence you, to take the initiative in your interactions with a sexual undertone. The first thought might be to "run" to specialized websites, chats, forums dedicated to BDSM, kinks, and fetishes, to create a standard profile, start communicating, solicit dates, sessions, and express readiness "for anything" just to get that desired "treat" of female domination. In reality, this is a false and doomed path that will lead, at a minimum, to disappointment in the theme, and possibly to psychological or physical injuries. The first necessary step is to realize that BDSM is not just a set of psycho-physical practices; it is a subculture where each participant has their own unique place. And your first task is to find it, to find your own circle of like-minded people where you will feel understanding, acceptance, and support.
Secondly, read articles on the subject on the Internet, learn the terminology, and understand what your role is in the submissive position. This might be a request for personality destruction, extreme psychological humiliation accompanied by torture and punishment, complete helplessness and control by the Dominant partner. Or perhaps you will be content with domestic servitude, adoration, and admiration for a charming Dominatrix. There are many online resources where you can take a test to determine the characteristics of a submissive positioning. However, understand that your needs may change over time.
The main mistake at this stage is focusing on the sexual side of BDSM practices, which are supposed to satisfy "male" submissive needs. Any Dominatrix wants to see in her submissive a readiness to submit to her own needs and commands, to "fit" the sub to herself, and a man focused on his own sexual desires simply is not capable of this. It is at this stage that the seed of conflict is sown, depriving the sub of the opportunity to build lasting relationships with a Dominatrix.
If the first step is done correctly, you now have a proper profile on various dating sites. Next, you need an introductory message that the submissive (sub) sends to potential Dominatrixes after getting permission to write privately. A respectful attitude towards the Dominant woman is essential.
You've decided whether to publicly declare your affiliation with the Community or keep it private. You've also determined your orientation (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual) and whether you want feminization. Identify whether you are a slave, servant, page, or simply a submissive. You might just want to be a bondage model. Decide if you're willing to switch roles, tolerate pain, enjoy it, or reject it. Consider if you're submissive or a brat, or if you need care and want to revert to a childhood or teenage state.
The main thing to understand at this stage for success is that the Dominatrix chooses the tools and methods of domination. The sub must prepare for detailed discussions about the meeting, session format, practices, experience in the Scene, and exchange of health certificates. The main dilemma is whether to meet for coffee first or go straight to a session.
Dominatrixes and submissives really show themselves only during session interactions.
Initially, the private life should be separated from thematic interactions, since it influences the perception of the sub and Dominatrix roles. Learning how to communicate in BDSM is crucial, as it must correspond to the chosen roles and positions to make an agreement in unequal relationships.
Gradually, the consciousness, behavior, and relationships with the environment, social circle, and appearance of a person who immerses themselves in the BDSM subculture begin to change. The person starts to discover new facets of their personality. As the number of practices and experiences accumulates, the number of thematic acquaintances increases, and confidence in their position emerges. A submissive has the opportunity to choose different practices with different dominatrices. An exception is the "slave - Master" type of relationship, where the slave has no choice, and the Master decides whom they interact with. This is a necessary stage for a sub – different dominatrices provide an opportunity to better understand themselves, their nature, their sexuality, and their thematic individuality. If the sub makes the right steps, the number of practices will only increase over time. If this doesn't happen, it means the sub is making mistakes that need to be identified and corrected.
One fine day, a sub might want to have exclusively one "ideal" dominatrix. What should be the focus – affection, emotional attachment, or should it be a choice made with a clear mind? Some people are "lucky" and don't have to make this choice because the relationship develops seemingly on its own. In reality, this isn't luck but the result of choosing a good, experienced dominatrix whose favor you earned through sincerity, openness, and a willingness to give your all. And this is a moment of truth for both. You have become a true sub, and an intelligent, discerning, knowledgeable dominatrix has been able to appreciate that. A submissive man must always evaluate, analyze, and objectively assess his experience. Because it is through BDSM relationships that one can understand the nature of their sexuality.
The effectiveness of any relationship is determined by the responsibility of both parties, 50-50. The inequality in Dominant-sub relationships is only part of a voluntary agreement. Each person tries to perform their role as effectively as possible, which brings maximum satisfaction to both. It is often the sub's irresponsibility that ruins the relationship, because having 0% rights in the game does not mean a lack of responsibility in the relationship.
There is only one true indicator that a thematic relationship is moving in the right direction – it deepens and develops. The practices do not lose their thrilling, exciting intensity and are quite diverse. The sub's role in this is openness, liberation, and the ability to delicately communicate their desires to the dominatrix without disrupting her domination strategy.
Therefore, finding the ideal thematic partner is possible, but only with constant self-improvement – analyzing and correcting one's mistakes.